My New Year’s resolutions are made in September….
Everyone tends to make their New Year’s resolutions on the 1st January. It’s the day when you make all those soppy promises to make the year the best possible ever…when you decide you’ll join the gym, quit smoking, get back into those jeans that have been sitting at the back of your wardrobe for the last ten years, three sizes too small for you now…turn Vegan (at least for a week) and hey, though you haven’t done regular exercise since you left school, you decide that this is the year you’ll run a marathon.
The start of the New Year, for me, is on the 1st September. There is this mad rush to get new school uniforms, shoes, PE kit, books, work folders, pencil cases, (I mean where is Father Christmas when I really need him? Because, quite frankly, the three foot tall teddy bear he left the last time he visited, is totally useless!) Then you have to plastify all these school books, by the time I’ve finished covering the books (which needs the skill and patience of a brain sergeant) I have sellotape coming out of my ears and the books are so sealed and airtight they look ready to pass any quarantine control with flying colours.
The start of September is when I promise myself that this new school year will be the year where I will not lose my shit in front of the other parents. I will attend the parent’s meetings in a composed manner. I will sit down next to my children every evening and calmly get them to do their homework properly. I will not be a source of embarrassment to my children at the weekend football matches or swimming meets. I will not raise my voice and let the neighbours know that dinner has not been burnt and is in fact totally edible…
And this of course is just the return to school. My kids are ecstatic about going back to school compared to my emotional state on having to return to work. Not that I’ve had eleven weeks off like they do, I’m lucky if I get two weeks off in a row. So my resolution on going back to the day job is pretty as above, I will not lose my shit in front of my work colleagues. I will attend the staff meetings in a composed manner. I will sit down at my desk and calmly tell myself that it’s not so bad after all….but what usually happens is I’m fighting this continual urge to stand up and yell out “Sod this I’m out of here…!”
So of course, I’m lucky if I get to October without having had a complete melt down first, where, by then, most of the resolutions have gone to pot…but hey, there’s always next year!
Anyway, now and again, when I’m on the verge of breaking all my resolutions at one go, I calmly go and stand outside…so if anyone asks…(just for the record)..I’m outstanding! ; )