I was given my first mobile phone 20 years ago, it was this huge, ugly, blue plastic brick looking phone. But as a brick, it was impossible to break and you only needed to charge the battery about once a week! (Those were the days!)
What I also vividly remember was my absolute abhorrence to it. I would never answer it in public. The ring tone turned down to a new low, so as not to attract the beady stares of those around. I didn’t want a mobile phone, had no need for one and didn’t want to be seen dead with one! Looking back, I find this hilariously funny. Little me who would pretend that the bleep bleep of an incoming text wasn’t mine, now can’t go five minutes without checking, at least twice, my super, latest model on the market, Huawei!
We take more selfies with our mobile phones on a day trip to the seaside than Neil Armstrong did when he landed on the moon!!
Talking of the moon, these mobiles are actually more sophisticated than the computer program used by NASA on the Apollo 11 mission (48 years ago, so happy anniversary and a massive congrats considering the navigation app used!) Nowadays, if we really did have a Mayday Mayday situation, like Apollo 13, we can text, Facebook, Instagram, tweet, Pinterest, Google plus and WhatsApp our SOS message with a twitch of our fingers. Whilst, at the same time, take a pic of the events with our selfie stick!
Thanks to all the apps we so happily download and use on our phones, we’re actually more controlled than the FBI could have ever dreamed possible. Happily volunteering to Google that the corner shop, which we just popped into five minutes ago, has the best fruit and veg you could wish for. But if “Mum” asks where we are going, who we are with and what we’ve done, it’s like, for crying out loud mum! I’m grown up now, stop controlling me!!
You’ve got to be really careful who you leave you phone with too. It’s a deadly machine in your Nan’s hands, who in less than five minutes can innocently add about ten more FB friends whilst thinking she’s dialling for the doctors and you also observe that apart from your ten new FB mates (whom you’ve never met in your life) you’ve just gone and lost 5 twitter followers too, again complete strangers, who only tweeted about protein shakes anyway, but that’s besides the point , the point is you miss them, and wonder why they’ve unfollowed you? Until you see a pic of your granddad in his bathers that your Nan has miraculously tweeted about in her attempt to phone the local GP and you’re left wondering how on earth did that pre-historic pic get onto your phone’s gallery in the first place?
Thanks to my mobile phone I can I control my caloric intake and output by the hour. I’m still waiting for someone to develop an app to control brain cell loss though, which actually might be a bit more useful, because despite all this technological advance, we’re getting mentally lazy and I believe the average IQ is dropping. At this rate we’ll have to use the navigator just to get to the toilet!
And then the more you use your phone, sometimes the more desperate you are to go on holiday without it and talking of holidays, I’m on holiday this coming week, so it will be time to switch my phone off and leave it behind. Actually, hang on, best switch it off when I arrive at my holiday destination, because without the navigator, I so heavily rely on these days, not only will I not be able to find the nearest loo, I’ve got a good chance of ending up on some remote island in middle of no-where. Which thinking about it, it could be a good thing!
Anyway, as I’ve being going on about mobile phones, I thought it was appropriate to share with you a mobile related snippet from my debut novel “A little of Chantelle Rose.”
“It was because of all these doubts and worries causing mayhem in my tired mind that I’d found myself out of bed and aimlessly wandering around my flat. That’s when I’d stumbled across that long-forgotten exercise DVD. There had been another one alongside: Learning to Line Dance. I don’t have a clue how that got onto my book shelf, what with its Electric Slide and Boot-Scootin’ Boogie. I thought it much too severe to try to get to grips with at such an early hour, and, anyway, I didn’t want the neighbours calling the police with a complaint about noise as a result of my Achey Breaky Heart.
After a rather dicey start, I soon got into the swing of dodging my bedsitting room furniture as I Cha-Cha-Cha’d around. Midway through the salsacise session I was startled by my mobile phone’s piercing tone. It’s not actually a ring; it’s a donkey EEH-HAA bray. I work on the theory that no one in their right mind would use a donkey tone, thus I always know when it’s my phone sounding, avoiding those rather embarrassing moments on public transport of rummaging around one’s handbag in a mad attempt to answer the phone as everyone else does the same. Of course, I do get some odd looks, but so what?”
From now until the 31st August, you can purchase the novel for just 0.99, click on the link below for an engaging summer read! And remember to sign up to my my newsletter for some more fun stories and giveaways!
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